Resolving Conflict in Your Church
Begins with a Knowledgeable Peacemaker
.
 |
 |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rebuild the Health of Your Church
Using Dr. Newberger's Intensive Care Process
to be adapted as needed
"I believe the key issue for churches in the twenty-first century will be church health"
Rick Warren
|
1. FREE Exploratory Stage
|
|||
|
|
Contact Dr. Newberger by phone to briefly discuss your situation.
|
|
|
|
>
|
|
|
B.
|
Schedule a small group conference call / meeting.
|
|
|
|
1.
|
A discussion with the pastor, governing board of the church, and/or others will be scheduled via phone, video conference, or in-person (depending on you location). The purpose of the discussion is for Dr. Newberger to learn more about your church and for you to learn more about Dr. Newberger.
|
|
|
2.
|
Members of this exploratory group should be representative of the different sides to the conflict. (Those who can also speak to the history and/or inner workings of the church, such as longtime members and past & present leaders, make particularly good representatives).
|
|
|
|
> To make the meeting as productive as possible, Dr. Newberger will provide a set of
wide-ranging questions for the participating parties to think through in advance of the meeting. The questions relate to a general description of the church and the nature of the issues currently facing it. All parties will be asked to participate with the understanding that there will be no debate regarding the merits, or lack thereof, of any issue or side.
|
|
|
If there is a willingness to continue, Dr. Newberger will sign an agreement for services with the church and get to work.
|
|
|
2. The Information Gathering Stage
|
|||
|
|
All parties who have been identified as having a stake in the issues at hand but did not participate in the above discussion are to be informed by their representatives of the nature and substance of the meeting. All parties should also be notified that they will be receiving a letter from Dr. Newberger.
|
|
|
B.
|
To make Dr. Newberger's work with you as effective as possible, he will seek to identify two or three people, acceptable to all parties, who will serve as his assistants and liaisons to help move the process forward.
|
|
|
|
Dr. Newberger will engage in a study of requested church documents. Follow-up questions will occur as needed.
|
|
|
|
Those who are identified as primary or secondary stakeholders will receive correspondence from Dr. Newberger.
|
|
|
|
>
|
A specially crafted questionnaire will be sent out, which is to be returned to Dr. Newberger for his study and review. Individual follow-up by phone will occur as needed.
|
|
E.
|
Participants may be asked to read Dr. Newberger's article entitled, “Theological Foundations for Resolving Church Conflict” in advance of a preliminary private meeting (#3 below).
|
|
|
|
>
|
Participants will be directed to the web page where the article is located. Alternatively, the church can print-off and distribute hard copies of the article.
|
|
3. Preliminary Private Meetings
|
|||
|
|
Dr. Newberger will schedule separate meetings with each side. This will allow parties to elaborate and clarify their written responses. These meetings also provide Dr. Newberger an opportunity to build rapport with all involved before the joint sessions begin.
|
|
|
|
>
|
A set of carefully crafted ground rules will be distributed and reviewed before the initial joint meeting.
|
|
B.
|
|
|
|
4. Initial Joint Meeting
|
|||
|
All those who have been identified as primary disputants or as representatives of a group are invited to this meeting. The agenda of this gathering is as follows:
|
||
|
|
Opening Prayer.
|
|
|
B.
|
Personal Introductions.
|
|
|
|
Educational Component. This will cover information that will aid in providing an overall understanding of the nature of conflict and the opportunity for positive change that it can provide.
|
|
|
|
>
|
Pertinent educational handouts will be distributed and discussed.
|
|
|
An Overview of the Process is Presented.
|
|
|
|
>
|
An abbreviated outline presenting the major components of our time together will be distributed and discussed.
|
|
E.
|
Ground Rules. The rules of conduct that will govern our dialogue and make them as healthy as possible will be discussed and agreed upon.
|
|
|
G.
|
Schedule. We will establish a schedule for the next session.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
>
|
The handout entitled, "In Preparation For Your First Development Building Session," will be distributed to each participant.
|
|
I.
|
Close in Prayer.
|
|
|
5. Problem-Solving Session(s)
|
|||
|
 It is beyond the scope of this outline to explain all of the components of this stage. Suffice it to say, each party will be given the opportunity to tell his or her "story." Differences of opinion will be aired. Underlying interests will be uncovered. From seemingly irreconcilable positions, Dr. Newberger will help parties craft mutually acceptable agreements and an action plan for the future. Factors contributing to the problem, such as organizational structure, culture, communication patterns, and individual behavior will be addressed. (See box). Note: Dr. Newberger will guide the process. Participants will decide the outcome.
|
||
|
|
|||
|
If conflict exists among members of the board, Dr. Newberger may use a conflict style inventory which focuses on group interaction, not personalities. Dr. Newberger may use it to help increase self-awareness, mutual understanding, and group cohesiveness.
In rare circumstances, if your particular situation requires it, Dr. Newberger may seek to schedule an evening meeting with the congregation.
Strains in interpersonal relationships will also be examined with a view toward providing a non-coercive opportunity for reconciliation. Dr. Newberger will be available to conduct private mediation sessions between key individuals who are in conflict.
The general approach is to go as large as necessary and as small as needed to facilitate a comprehensive resolution to the conflict.
|
||
|
7. Mutual Agreement and Resolution
|
|||
|
The Memorandum of Agreement.
|
||
|
|
The memorandum of agreement is the goal toward which we are working and the culmination of our sustained effort. It incorporates the joint decisions reached during the discussions.
|
|
|
B.
|
After the sessions are over, if not already completed, Dr. Newberger will prepare an initial draft of the memorandum. It will then be reviewed by all the parties for accuracy and needed modifications. It will continue to be revised until it fully reflects everyone's sentiment and assent.
|
|
|
|
The final document will be signed by all the participants as a testimony to their collaborative work as well as a practical guide for the implementation of future actions that need to be carried out.
The signing will be celebratory!
|
|
|
|
|||
|
Reaching agreement does not signal the end of the peacemaking process. It inaugurates a new beginning. What is typically needed at this juncture is the establishment of an in-house mechanism by which issues that arise in the future can be constructively addressed. Along with his other efforts, with the approval of church leaders, Dr. Newberger will work to put such a process into place.
|
||
|
9. Ongoing Care and Follow-Up
|
|||
|
A pediatric heart surgeon once shared with Dr. Newberger that he rarely loses a patient on the operating table. It is in the days that follow the surgery when his patients are at greatest risk. In a church, reaching mutual agreement and resolution is critically important. After-care is also indispensable. Dr. Newberger will continue to monitor the progress of the church and provide ongoing guidance after his onsite visit is completed.
|
||
|
Questions? Call Dr. Newberger at 301-253-8877
ResolveChurchConflict.com
© Copyright 2008 Dr. Kenneth C. Newberger. All Rights Reserved.
Permission to make copies of this information for use in your local church is granted provided that it is distributed free of charge and all copies indicate the copyright and source as listed above. For any other use, advance permission must be obtained.
|
|||
|
Do You Need Confidential Advice by Phone?